may 22nd 2009, two months later

as you well know
i have stopped writing a majority of things,
so here's a compilation, over the last two months, and some old blogs from myspace....
self.



things change, people change......
what you once thought you knew,
such delicate fallacy, yet stuck to you like glue.
get it off, cut it off, do whatever you have to do,
cause you're screaming in agony, faced with an allegory.
what you thought is just what you thought,
past tense, suspense, it's nothing now
forget about it
forgot about it.....
all, it all.



I USED TO WRITE A THING I CALL " LETTERS I'LL NEVER SEND" HERE ARE SOME. I NO LONGER WRITE THESE MUCH, DUE TO THE FACT THAT PEOPLE SWEPT IT UP, AND TRIED TO PLAGIARIZE MY LIFE.


Friday, August 15, 2008

letters ill never send
Current mood: amused
Category: Life
dear olympics,
why must you suck so much? why must you captivate minds, so all i hear about is "did you see that one chinese girl beat that other chinese girl on the monkey bars?"
no.........no! i don't care. please take your programs off of the general broadcast, and into....say a trashcan.
grudgingly changing channels,
lila




dear my cat,
thank you for loving me,
and sleeping with me lastnight,
but that doesn't make up for the crap you left on the bathroom floor.
grudgingly finding the papertowels,
your owner,
lila






dear self,
if you could stay on the same page,
and stop switching books,
that would be nice,
or else, i may have to cut you off,
itll be celery and no sleep for weeks.....
and don't try that reverse psychology bullshit,
i know you too well............
the librarian you know and love,
lila


dear bitch landlord ruth,
please grow real eyebrows, the ones you drew on your face distract me too much to ever pay attention to what you are saying. i'm glad i don't have to stare at them for long periods of time, for i may be susceptible to unexplainable fits of laughter,
so glad i'm not renting from you anymore,
lila


dear my car,
i swear to god if you act up one more time, it's the end for you.
i can't afford to keep fixing you up, its a mad world, car, and you gotta look out for yourself! it may be time for you to motor on out into the welcoming world of "work or die"
now a frequent passenger in public transit,
lila




Monday, August 25, 2008

letters i’ll never send part deux
dear my brother,
why must i overhear you screaming at the computer? obscenities and all that jazz? it's one thing to talk to the computer, but to hurl profanity at it. i think you are a very strange one and i love you any way.
your sister with raised eyebrows at you,
watching you partyboy the air,
lila
p.s.
i am still mad at you for opening my birthday candle number "8"
>:)




dear dunkin donuts manager,
what the hell was that? who would have expected a man of your standing with a mustache of such magnitude to completely interrogate and bluntly analyze heather and i? completely mindfucked,
your potential employee,
lila




dear cheap shampoo,
why must you make my hair so fluffy and strange?
i can't afford better shampoo
so you better buck the hell up
or i'll get you back..........one day.
still using you,
lila




Sunday, August 31, 2008

another letters ill never send! part three
Current mood: amused
Category: Life
dear the "dollar" store,
how long has it been since everything in your so called dollar store REALLY been a DOLLAR? i walked in today and saw a comforter there for 36.99....
EXCUSE ME?
fuck you dollar store,
and your false pretensed expensive pseudo dollar morals,
be back next week,
lila


p.s. i know why you dont have a cold food section.......
that shit's older than i am!



dear creepy 7 11 guy,
stop asking me about my hair. and even though i always find it hilarious when you say, " an apple a day....." you tihnk i am laughing because i find you humorous?
THATS THE REA:L JOKE!
pretty much!!!!
find someone thirty years older than me
and comment her on her hair
and SHIT.
see you next time,
grudgingly getting gas with my debit card cause i dont want to walk inside and see you,
the customer
p.s. like i would tell you my name?!?


dear florida weather,
if you're going to fucking rain,
do it.
and do it now.
all this limbo is fucking with my tan.
stuck on you always anyway,
reluctant resident
lila



dear tropical storm fay, hurricane gustav, and so on and so on,
look forward to me dancing in the rain,
middle fingers flying,
you know what i mean.
hoping you head towards cuba,
and hunkering down when the trees start flying,
lila
p.s. if im not on in a week send help



dear crooning male singers in techno bands,
do people see you crooning? i doubt they would like the face you make.
still listening,
lila




I MISS WRITING THOSE, I MAY START CALLIN EM JESUS AND BRING BACK THE RESURRECTION...
LOL



AND HERE IS SOME REALLY OLD POETRY AS WELL,

Friday, August 29, 2008

i was sad before,
but i wrote this,
and now i can't stop smiling,
perhaps i should call it a smirk.
this didn't turn out the way i expected,
but most things in my life don't,
due to some sort of whimsical fancy that i build my life around,
a little something i'd like to call freedom and sense of self,
all wrapped into a blanket of happiness.
feast your eyes on this,
now,
i have a date with some broccoli
yum




what's going on here?
i don't belong here!
something is wrong here!
i'm waiting too long here!
stuffing stifling stagnant air
right down my throat
i'm not breathing
i'm not breathing
i'm not breathing
and now i'm seething
don't try to stop me
you'll never succeed
you can think you've got me
but you're nothing i need
no, you're nothing much at all,
just some careless kisses
and a drunken phonecall.
don't worry
don't worry
you know it's okay
can't you tell by now,
i like you better that way.





Thursday, September 04, 2008

get it...no! forget it.
Current mood: sad
Category: Life
tumultuous times,
so I broke all the clocks.
the sun still rises,
but I can't stop that one
these wings aren't made of wax,
just unwanted wire and the will to fly.
but I'd burn,
and burn,
and burn!
before I ever caught just one glimpse,
just two glances.
translucent star,
let the dark enfold,
I've always been nocturnal,
time to test the waters,
rain or shine
black or blue
blood or bibles
somebody lock away the sun,
just for a little while?
because if I do,
god knows it won't shine again.
but the sun gives you freckles,
and you look so happy.
and I love your laughter,
music to my weary ears,
much better than fighting tears,
but I'd fight it all,
only for you,
just,
you.



Monday, March 16, 2009

a letter to myself
Current mood: listless
Category: Life
from myself, dearly and sincerely.....

who would have thought i'd need my own medicine?
take two doses of this, and a little of that,
make sure you put your knees up, laying on your back.

get your face out of your hands,
stop making such steep demands,
the descent is upon us.

take it easy, race and hurry.
kick back, relax, overcome with worry.
back and forth, and then repeat,
pitter patter like ping pong...

and i want to slow down!
but i want to go faster!
i keep looking to the clock,
but the timing's all wrong.

and before you know it,
i'm here and then i'm gone.
and you're left with the feeling
that you knew it all along.





and now i've come full circle, this will be a better outlet for me.