january 22nd 2009 continued

it is now 10:02 am and i am sufficiently peaceful,
i drank two cups of tea, and i'm going to drink another cup
today i am going to make myself a sanctuary
that is what i am missing in my life
i've felt so displaced in the house,
mostly due to the fact that my brother took over my old room,
but the fault still lies there.
so, i'm going to make the pantry, organization room,
my new sanctuary.
why this particular place?
because the record player is there
some would say, " why not move the record player somewhere more ideal?"
well, i say no, because i will make it ideal.
my little place.
like a cocoon,
i can caterwaul and caterpillar my way in
and emerge peacefully as a butterfly
it sounds so blissful
i have some work ahead of me i suppose,
but right now
i am all about stars and drinking hot tea "bitch"
hahahaha
i'm so much more pleasant now.
i want to see a doctor
even though i'm afraid of doctors.
to a degree.....
oh well.