january 22nd 2009

it is 8:12 am, and i have been up for two hours, why did i wake up at 6 in the morning today when i had no class? he who won't be named freaked out on someone else who won't be named, and then called someone else who won't be named, and the cops proceeded to intrude upon my humble home. hooray for law enforcement. let me just say right now,
I HATE COPS.
and this is not an ignorant "i just hate cops because they can get me in trouble."
that's not it at all. The reason i so highly disfavor such pillars of society is simply this, i've been in the position to need help from them really bad, and did they care at all? NO THEY DID NOT. the only influence i've received from them has been stone cold indifference, and then the urge to lock up people i love. so fuck you cops.
and another thing,
I REFUSE TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT DO DRUGS ANYMORE.
i think of maryjane as something else entirely,
but if you do any drugs
xanax
coke
roxies
whatever else
pills pills pills
any type of pills
i will not be your friend when you fuck up.
and i will not be around you if you do things like that.
AT ALL.
I will NOT waste away here
in this shit hole of a place
with shitty cona artists
due to the people i choose to be my friends
there is only one person in this entire planet that i can honestly say i would go through anything and everything for,
and chances are
YOU ARE NOT HER.
so if you're gonna try to drag me down with all your bullshit
i am not drowning in your sea of pathetic self indulgence,
fuck you all.
i suppose i may be overreacting,
then i suppose you may call me out on it.
i'm also tired of having fake friends, i am not a fool, my mother isn't a fool, she didn't raise me to be one either. i know when i'm being lied to, when people are being shifty, manipulative, or holding ulterior motives, and you know what i have to say to you?
WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
anything you think you can get from me,
guess again?
i am not your play thing
or your doormat.
i absolutely loathe confrontation because i am a very peaceful person, but devil damn it i will not be anyone's pawn.
and i will not be subject to people's stupid tantrums,
just because you are so full of yourself you can't pull your head out of your ass because your shit smells so good, doesn't mean you can flip out on people i love, no. fuck you.
i'm a very unconfrontational person, but when i get riled up, you better believe i will NOT back down.
i'm done with this right now.
i'll probably post a second entry later this morning because i'm sure i'll want to.